Geetika Saini
Reviewed on 17 May 2024
Practical anger management and emotional wellness book with brilliant analogies!
Take a moment to ⏸️pause, focus on your 👃breathing, and 😌calm yourself down. Count to 1️⃣0️⃣.
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🪷Before You Get Angry🪷
Unlock your Emotional Awareness
A Guide to Recognize, Manage and Transform Your Anger
✍️By Hemant Gupta
“Between the stimulus and response, there’s a space, and this space holds our power to control.”- Viktor Frankl
Hence the need to pause. ⏸️
In 'Before You Get Angry', the author explains the psychology and physiology of 😡anger. He also shares practices to recognize, manage and transform anger such as visualisation, mindfulness, 🧘meditative and conscious 👃breathing techniques and emotional labelling system.
Hemant shares an 🫶honest account of his life, which prods the reader to honestly 🤨introspect, making the content highly relatable. The events and the incidents mentioned in the book are true and real.
There are 👌super 🤩brilliant analogies, 😇profound quotes and 🤔thought-provoking questions.
The book cover is serene and peaceful looking.
A list of references is provided at the end, should you want to check them out.
A major takeaway for me was recognizing the 🌱seeds of anger, such as feeling irritated, frustrated, annoyed, jealous, envious, unheard, disappointed, unfulfilled, disturbed, ignored, wronged, harmed, misunderstood, unappreciated, or anything else you feel just before you get angry because when these seeds are allowed a place and watered, nurtured and activated, anger can 💣💥🔥🤬😤manifest in you anytime. So all those who think I don't get or feel angry, ask yourself honestly do you feel any of these things, if yes you are in the vicinity of potential anger & danger.⚠️⚡☠️
My 🩷favorite chapters: are Houseplant, Brew Your Love, When Desire Ends, So Does Your Anger, What Are Your Emotions Trying To Tell You and Anger Is A Byproduct.
Remember, "When you are upset, it breaks you down. When you are angry, you break the other person down." The book helps you so that you are in neither of these situations.🪷
Some of my favourite excerpts from the book:
🪷🩷To become skilled at managing the anger of others, you must first become proficient in understanding your own anger—recognizing the signs, identifying triggers, and understanding its causes. Understanding one’s own anger is half the battle. The other half involves expressing anger constructively and managing the anger of others.
🪷🩷Take the time to see your angry emotions clearly. Find out what is making you angry. Is it the voice, the tone, the words, the environment, or the way it is being conveyed? Go into precise detail to discover what is fuelling your anger.
🪷🩷When the strings of expectations born out of love breaks, there is a lot of pain. The pain of hurt is deeper and makes no sound. Loved one’s retreat into a shell and become quiet. However, when the strings of expectations in a transactional relationship break, there is no pain, no hurt, but only disappointment, and the sound is loud. People become wild, scream, and yell.
When hurt in love, we cry in silence. When hurt in ego, we yell in public.
🪷🩷Your ego gives rise to desires, and these desires manifest in the form of expectations, expectations breed attachment, and attachment seeks to control the outcomes. When the results don’t align with your desires, it creates anger.